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 Post subject: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 27th, 2008, 6:57 pm 
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OK, I had enough with not having new topics on the live action thread and I've decided to make a new thread. Why? Because this thread isn't getting any love.

Anyway, whats the worst films that you have ever seen? Also explain why they're considered the worst.

Here's my list, which includes mainstream and b-movies:
Manos: The Hands of Fate(1966): It's without a doubt one of the worst movies ever made. It's not funny bad, it's just godawful. Probably the reason why it's the worst was because it was made by Hal Warren, who happens to be an El Paso fertlizer salesman (I'm not joking). If anyone wants to see how bad it is, watch the MST3K episode because watching Manos all by itself can give you a truly painful experience.

Santa Claus Conquers the Matians(1964): Incredibly stupid. At first it sounds really corny on paper, but once you watch it on the screen. Ugh. Not even little, soon to be Gloden Globe winner Pia Zadora could save this travesty from being so utterly stupid.

Pulgasari(1986): The first, and perhaps the only North Korean kaiju film I've seen and wow... Just wow... It's so bad (both in a funny and godawful way), that it's hard to describe. To be quite honest, the story behind the film is a lot more interesting than the actual film itself. Famed South Korean director Shin San-Ok and his wife were kidnapped by North Koreans in the 70s under the order of Kim Il Sung. Kim forced Shin to make several movies and after Pulgasari was finished, Shin and his wife made a daring escape to the West and the rest is history. That would make a better film.

The Beast From Hollow Mountain(1956): For a long time, I thought The Valley of Gwangi(1969) was the only movie ever made to have cowboys rounding up dinosaurs. I was wrong. The Beast From Hollow Mountain was and it sucked badly. The acting and characters were so unbearable to watch so that I can see the T. rex attack and once I did... the Rex looked awful. Really, REALLY awful. I can't watch this again. I JUST CAN'T. Gwangi blows this movie clear out of the water a thousand times over.

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer movies(2006-beyond): Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans and Disaster Movie. When will they stop making shitty parody movies?!? I hope the next one is going to be called Snuff Movie, where they kill Friedberg and Seltzer and end this nonsense (not really, but the thought it funny).

Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End(2007): This movie was such a huge mess and the multiple subplots were so hard to keep track and unnecessary to begin with. Not even Keith Richards' cameo appearence as Jack Sparrow's father could've save it from being so abysmul.

Underworld(2003): The war between vampires and werewolves has never looked so boring and dull. It had so much potential and sounded great on paper, but on the screen it failed to deviler it. All they did was explaining the history of their war and there was hardly any action it. If I wanted to know such bullcrap, I'd watch it on the History Channel instead.

Uwe Boll films(2005-beyond): The epitome of why video games should never be turned into movies.

The Star Wars Holiday Special(1978): Makes Episode I look like a masterpiece, which I didn't mind Episode I myself, but it's still the weakest film of the Star Wars saga. What the hell was George Lucas on when he made The Holiday Special? Good Lord, was it bad.

Anything from Asylum(2005-beyond): Click on the link and get back to me.

Batman and Robin(1997): Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze= Disaster

Pearl Harbor(2001): An insult to the veterans of of the Pearl Harbor attack, the Japanese, history and humanity itself. I was hoping it would be a great war movie, instead it's a three hour long love triangle with flashy visual effects and nothing more. Michael Bay has turned what looked like a great war film into pigshit.

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Last edited by Gojira on January 2nd, 2009, 7:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 30th, 2008, 3:10 pm 
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Hmm.. I actually liked Underworld, but maybe I was distracted by Kate Beckinsale... :nose:

My worst movie selection is

Highlander 2 (1991): Take everything cool from the first movie, twist it horribly and vomit it onto the big screen. I had the misfortune of seeing it opening night in the first row... Only made worse by how fun the first movie was.

The Baby (1973): My dad had a thing for Elvira's TV show in LA and made us watch this piece 'o crap. It has a surprise ending that only made it worse. :vomit: I never saw much MST3K, but this would be their type of movie... Definitely not in the so bad it is good category.

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 30th, 2008, 3:35 pm 
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Anything by Uwe Boll, though postal was funny it still sucked. this dude thinks he makes better movies than Michael Bay. :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 30th, 2008, 3:59 pm 
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Ck wrote:
Anything by Uwe Boll, though postal was funny it still sucked. this dude thinks he makes better movies than Michael Bay. :lol:

In fact, Uwe Boll even tried to offer Michael Bay to challenge him in a boxing match, which I highly doubt that will happen. I would love to see it though :lol: Well, he did have several boxing matches against some of his worst internet critics and beat them up, including CEO of Something Awful, Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka.

Here are some the critics he faced in the ring, literally.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8Pr31zfKcg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swg4SshYx2E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5wbGIJPnTk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YNXP362G1s

Uwe Boll is like the Ed Wood of our generation and just as crazy too.

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 30th, 2008, 6:01 pm 
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Gojira wrote:
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer movies(2006-beyond): Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans and Disaster Movie. When will they stop making shitty parody movies?!? I hope the next one is going to be called Snuff Movie, where they kill Friedberg and Seltzer and end this nonsense (not really, but the thought it funny).

I'm not a big fan of parody movies...

Gojira wrote:
Underworld(2003): The war between vampires and werewolves has never looked so boring and dull. It had so much potential and sounded great on paper, but on the screen it failed to deviler it. All they did was explaining the history of their war and there was hardly any action it. If I wanted to know such bullcrap, I'd watch it on the History Channel instead.

I like Underworld. Nowhere near one of the all-time great movies, but good enough...


Gojira wrote:
The Star Wars Holiday Special(1978): Makes Episode I look like a masterpiece, which I didn't mind Episode I myself, but it's still the weakest film of the Star Wars saga. What the hell was George Lucas on when he made The Holiday Special? Good Lord, was it bad.

I dunno. Maybe he wanted a vehicle to introduce Boba Fett before Empire...

Episode I was the weakest film of the series, though...

As for my own pick...right now the only thing I can think of is Carrie, based on the Stephen King novel. It might be a horror classic, but I remember hating it... I haven't seen it in over 13 years, anyway.

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 30th, 2008, 9:31 pm 
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PunkDaddy wrote:
Highlander 2 (1991): Take everything cool from the first movie, twist it horribly and vomit it onto the big screen. I had the misfortune of seeing it opening night in the first row... Only made worse by how fun the first movie was.

You should see Highlander: The Source, effectively the 5th of the Highlander movies with Adrian Paul as the lead (Duncan MacLeod in the series and fourth movie).

The plot is nearly as convoluted and the productions values are atrocious. I didn't mind the second Highlander movie really (probably because I'm a big Lambert fan), but The Source was just something else entirely :doh:

Though I guess there are other versions of the second movie that don't make the Highlanders aliens from another planet or some such so maybe those succeed a bit better. Because that was just ridiculous.

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 31st, 2008, 1:38 am 
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Whoa, whoa, whoa there was a 5th highlander movie, i never saw 3 or 4. :blink:

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 31st, 2008, 4:28 am 
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Ck wrote:
Whoa, whoa, whoa there was a 5th highlander movie, i never saw 3 or 4. :blink:

Sure there was. Though I'm not sure I've seen 3 or 4 either... Know I haven't seen 4, but I can't remember if I've seen 3 or not...

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 31st, 2008, 4:32 am 
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Acmurphy wrote:
You should see Highlander: The Source, effectively the 5th of the Highlander movies with Adrian Paul as the lead (Duncan MacLeod in the series and fourth movie).

The plot is nearly as convoluted and the productions values are atrocious. I didn't mind the second Highlander movie really (probably because I'm a big Lambert fan), but The Source was just something else entirely :doh:

Someone gave me a screener copy of that, but I have been afraid to watch it. Now I can't decide if I want to check it out just to see how bad it is or if I just want to burn it... I fear I may watch it. Somehow, I think you'll find out here if I do. ;-)

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 31st, 2008, 8:22 am 
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In my case, if ACmurphy permits me, I must put two movies where Lambert takes the leading role:

Beowulf: this movie has definitely no sense. sure, the bad girl is helluva hawt chick, if you allow me to say, but the movie has no sense at all. The most horrid things are the parts were techno music appears and the whole people dance like mad. I must still read the ol' legend, but I bet parts like that didn't appear... :roll:

Druids: I must be sincere: I couldn't finish this one. After 40 minutes or so my eyes closed business and I enjoyed a lovely nap. But the minutes prior to it had made me close to cleave of my telly in 2. I was really disappointed on how an actor could beat the schemes making still even worse movies.

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 31st, 2008, 10:51 am 
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I'll put these in for worst movies.

Mortal Kombat 2- The horrible sequel to the awesome first movie.
Why- Only 2 of the members of the 1st movie returned. the others actors & actresses including Mr. Lambert did not & it made the movie just suck along with bad script.

The 3rd Matrix movie- The final part to the trilogy
Why-
Spoiler
They killed the hero & his lady WTF. I paid to see Neo beat the
crap out of Smith & he did but died. Then they stabbed Neo's girl with
a pipe. But to top it off it turns out that the real world their in is still the Matrix. Anyone else lost? :?


Edit: Please use spoiler tags if you're giving away important pats of something. Not everyone has seen it. -ACM

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Last edited by Ck on December 31st, 2008, 4:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 31st, 2008, 12:34 pm 
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Bloodfairy wrote:
In my case, if ACmurphy permits me, I must put two movies where Lambert takes the leading role:

:lol: I haven't had the pleasure of watching Druids, but I love Beowulf 8)

Crazy awesome techno music, super twisted storyline of a famous poem, b-movies production values, sweet fire breathing castle. You can even see the wires in a number of scenes when he's climbing up pillars and such. Ah, good stuff. I dare say it's a guilty pleasure of mine :D

Ck wrote:
I'll put these in for worst movies.
The 3rd Matrix movie- The final part to the trilogy

Ya, I wasn't a big fan of the second or third Matrix movies. Only saw the third one once, don't really remember anything about it anymore. Just that I didn't really want to see it again :diss: Really liked the first one though!

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: December 31st, 2008, 6:47 pm 
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Bloodyfairy wrote:
Druids: I must be sincere: I couldn't finish this one. After 40 minutes or so my eyes closed business and I enjoyed a lovely nap. But the minutes prior to it had made me close to cleave of my telly in 2. I was really disappointed on how an actor could beat the schemes making still even worse movies.

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It must be the wig that ruined the whole film, wouldn't ya say Bloodfairy? :lol:

Druids(2001) looks like a Sci-Fi Original Channel Original Movie and just as awful too. Definitely gonna skip this one. Though I have to admit the only Sci-Fi originals that are fun to watch were Dinocroc(2004), Frankenfish(2004), Man with the Screaming Brain(2005), and Mammoth(2006), but as for the rest they all suck. Nuff said. And don't get me started with Komodo vs. Cobra(2005), which is perhaps the worst Sci-Fi Original ever. :vomit: :evil:

Also, Troll 2(1990) would take the cake as the worst movie ever, but the fact that it's one of the best comedies of our time, automatically disqualifies it from winning the title.

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: January 1st, 2009, 2:18 pm 
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About Matrix Reload and Revolution: I'd say these movies were not simply bad but totally unnecessary. They could have been gods, had they stopped after the first movie, but no, they had to milk the cow to the death.

One of the worst movies, and I have just recently seen it, is imho, Rambo IV, aka. "John Rambo".
In the comment section of the DVD they go on and on about how the story returned to the basics of the first movie, and how great that was. Well, maybe I'm ignorant of the subtle similarities they applied, but I only see elements of the second and the third movie recurring.
It starts with "Rambo III" concepts: The hero lives in peace in the middle of nowhere and enjoys a simple life.
Then part II takes over: He accompanies a woman to the mission area.
Then we return to part III: A stranger comes along to tell him something went wrong and he returns to the battlefield in order to save someone important (in this case the woman and not his mentor), against all odds.

I liked the character depictions of the first movie.
I liked the exciting action elements of the second and the third movie.
Part four is not much more than a gorefest. It's so gory it's indeliberately funny.

On the other hand: Humor is completely absent in part IV.
In part II and part III there were single jokes, like
"You don't have much time so don't stand there to smell the roses"

Part III was golden on that behalf:
"You taught us to ignore pain."
"Is it working?"
"Not really."

or
"What's that?"
"It's blue light."
"What does it do?"
"It turns blue."

or (after the dropping of a fuel bomb)
"That was close, John. How are you?"
"Well done."


I missed this kind of humor.

Spoiler
Another minus is how static the final confrontation is. In part II and III there were flexible fights, with some running and moving around and stuff. In his last film, Mr. Rambo just stands there, rather motionless (funny enough, exactly like seen in its very own parody, "Hot Shots"), blasting away scores of enemy soldiers with a .50 cal. Even the "boss" runs right into his knife.
Booooriiiiiiing!

On a sidenote: There are obviously two types of landmines - those which the cannonfodder triggers, and those which protagonists step onto.
Cannonfodder gets completely blown to bits while protagonists just get nasty wounds that leave the legs intact in the long run.

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 Post subject: Re: Worst Movies You Have Ever Seen (Maybe Offensive To Some)
PostPosted: January 1st, 2009, 3:28 pm 
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I would have to say the worst movie i have seen is a newly released title of House Bunny. It was stupid, boring, and conversations were much too drawn out for my liking. The main character used the word "sexy" far too many times. Overall the movie was just dull and boring.

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