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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 18th, 2008, 5:27 am 
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Storm_Shinobi wrote:
It just turns out I was quite shy and/or antisocial.

Were you born that way or are there concrete reasons?
Like, I was severely bullied by the older kids, me being the only boy of my age who was an older brother (= I did not have an older brother to stand between me and the hyeneas of his age), and the only one who did not have connections due to membership in a sports club. That's why I don't have any friends in the village where I grew up, as I hated the bastards for collaborating with the older ones or for standing by and doing nothing. I don't hate them anymore, but I have tendency to never forget the best and worst things.
As a result I'd rather stay at home and read books instead of going to the playground. I may be a walking dictionary today, but I would have preferred finding a healthy middle way.

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 18th, 2008, 1:02 pm 
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I wasn't one to stand there and get bullied. Well my school was relatively civilized anyway, but generally I'd get teachers for aid or just simply fight back. I wasn't particular in a more closed community like a village, and my school had a fair few number of people(like 25-30 people per class and 6 classes a year). I just got around somehow.

I don't think there was anything in particular that made me quite so shy and/or antisocial. I was just kinda like that, awkward and bad at handling new people. I kinda rely on people to say hi to me rather than the other way around. I'm not as bad as I used to be though.

Although because I was educated in an International school while my parents are quite traditional Chinese people, there was a fair bit of divide between us. I mean if I couldn't communicate with my own family, who could I communicate with? As the years went, I just kinda fell out with my parents more and more and it was quite messy actually. In my early youth, they were quite strict too and would resort to caning, so that kinda made it worse and just found that I couldn't really tell them anything. Then somehow I got the impression that they hated me and are just raising me because they gave birth to me or something. I could go ahead and list out everything negative about my life and sound like an emo twit. Its not like my entire life was bad, its just that when I think about only the crap parts, it does seem quite dreary.

Anyway my relationship with my parents aren't as bad as it used to be. Even if we still generally have nothing to talk about hahaha.

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 19th, 2008, 7:25 pm 
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Storm_Shinobi wrote:
I wasn't one to stand there and get bullied. Well my school was relatively civilized anyway, but generally I'd get teachers for aid or just simply fight back.

Who DOES just stand there if s/he's not a serious masochist? I was like 9 or 10 years old and I had almost everybody (male in my class) against me (except for the few ignorant ones who were happy someone else had to take it), always at least four or five at a time. When I turned to one of them to deliver some punishment another would jump right into my back, so I made a habit of always having a wall behind me. When the day came when I didn't want to go to school anymore my parents intervened and the worst hostilities ceased, but animosity remained.

When I became 11yo I "graduated" from elementary school (it has only four grades over here), therefore I automatically changed schools and was tossed into a completely new set of people. There were fights, serious ones, too, and the first two grades were sometimes harsh, but I evolved in a physically more favorable way than my classmates, and by the end of 6th grade it was all settled, I would be the strongest ever since. But the people were also very different, and I made real friends on that new school, even out of initial rivals. And I consider myself lucky to have a handful of best friends, instead of just two or one or maybe none.

Calling teachers... call me stupid but I never did (nor did anybody else). I always thought that I wanted to fight my way out on my own, but from a 20 year perspective I guess I had just been ashamed to be the loser guy that everyone picked on. Going to a teacher and tell him about it would have been an admission of weakness. I could not admit that to myself although it was obvious.

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 19th, 2008, 9:57 pm 
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I never had problems in elementary school at all. I don't recall it having dominant/weak classes of people. I don't really recall that much from back then. Must've been because I just got through it with no problems at all (great grades, zero effort, lots of friends). I do however remember trying to impress a girl by punching some kid in the stomach a couple times. I moved before grade 5 started and made tons of friends at my new school.

By middle school I had already hit puberty and was stronger than everyone else. In grade 6, I had no problems at all. Nobody messed with me since me and my group were dominant by all means (we weren't bullies though). Those were some of the best days of my life. Unfortunately that place was devoid of commercial areas and stores, and I was driven by the need for merchandise. I moved back to where I used to live during the summer after grade 6. In grade 7 and 8, some people pissed me off but never to the point of physically hurting me since they knew I could kick their ass. Whenever someone went too far trying to piss me off, I would explode in rage and they would back down. I didn't have a problem making friends again either. Crazy enough as it sounds, the guy I punched in elementary school and taunted in middle school became one of my friends later on in middle school. I also found some of my old friends and we went off from there.

Now in high school, the situation hasn't changed very much, especially since I've gotten stronger and also have eliminated most fear I have had in the past. The only thing different is that I am not making any friends, since I'm not trying to make any. Most people are either retarded, foreign, or an asshole. Not very many people I see seem to have the same style as myself.

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 20th, 2008, 2:36 am 
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Mmsven wrote:
Now in high school, the situation hasn't changed very much, especially since I've gotten stronger and also have eliminated most fear I have had in the past. The only thing different is that I am not making any friends, since I'm not trying to make any. Most people are either retarded, foreign, or an asshole. Not very many people I see seem to have the same style as myself.

Well first of all NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE YOU, Mmsven. You can't expect someone to be EXACTLY like you and plus the world would be a boring place if everyone think or act the same. Second of all how could not survive without friends?!? Who will be there to protect, comfort, support or even talk to you? Seriously. And finally, don't be shy and try to make new friends. I mean it can be scary at times but you have to be tough, patient and be able to communicate with them often. I sure had difficulties making friends but I managed to make some good ones despite of having a disability.

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 20th, 2008, 6:09 am 
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Well first of all NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE YOU, Mmsven.

I said that inside my post.

Quote:
You can't expect someone to be EXACTLY like you and plus the world would be a boring place if everyone think or act the same.

I never said I expect people to be like myself, nor do I want the world to be full of cloned minds. I don't know where you're getting this.

Quote:
Second of all how could not survive without friends?!? Who will be there to protect, comfort, support or even talk to you? Seriously.

Who said that I don't have any friends? I still have my friends I made before high school and am in constant contact with them.

Quote:
And finally, don't be shy and try to make new friends. I mean it can be scary at times but you have to be tough, patient and be able to communicate with them often.

It's not that I'm shy, it's just that I don't put any effort into trying.

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 20th, 2008, 6:16 am 
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Mmsven wrote:
I do however remember trying to impress a girl by punching some kid in the stomach a couple times.
:roll:
Only crazy bi***es would be impressed by that (in a way that you intended, that is)... :lol:

Mmsven wrote:
Most people are either retarded, foreign, or an asshole.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Retarded assholes... hm, okay, I see the point... but what's the problem with being foreign?
How do you define "foreign", by the way?

Mmsven wrote:
I never said I expect people to be like myself, nor do I want the world to be full of cloned minds. I don't know where you're getting this.

Well, you said "Not very many people I see seem to have the same style as myself."
I do realize there is a difference between what you said and what he interpreted, but it's pretty clear to me that he refers to this quote, just in a somewhat exaggerated manner.

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 20th, 2008, 6:22 am 
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42317 wrote:
but what's the problem with being foreign?
How do you define "foreign", by the way?

Foreign as in, say, people from Brazil and Asia (we get a lot) who I wouldn't be able to communicate with or only here temporarily for the tourist attractions.

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 20th, 2008, 6:30 am 
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Mmsven wrote:
Foreign as in, say, people from Brazil and Asia (we get a lot) who I wouldn't be able to communicate with or only here temporarily for the tourist attractions.

For the tourist attractions? I thought you were talking about exchange students or something like that.

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 27th, 2008, 4:24 am 
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I kinda understand the whole foreign bit, since me studying here in Australia, theres plenty of Chinese nationals and traditional Chinese people from elsewhere. I mean once you get over their awkward sounding English, there are some cool people out there. But you get these really... introverted lot that don't really join in on college events, and just camp in their rooms playing DotA and generally sticking to their own and not trying new stuff. As such, they don't have many interesting things to talk about either. Maybe I'm just as strange to them as they are to me, but I already find myself not doing stuff at unhealthy levels already. These guys just belt the books and.... play DotA for amusement. FOBs I call them, fresh off the boat. They just have a very... closed mind and aren't open to new ways of adaptive thinking and stuff. I mean they study by rope learning and grinding off instead of properly understanding stuff, which well.... isn't a very healthy way of thinking. It effects more than just studies. Such linear thinking doesn't get you many places. I mean if they are going to study overseas... might as well fling out and go do some other stuff. (like binge drink hahaha, but alcohol is never a necessity to enjoy yourself, its just one of the many ways.... )

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 27th, 2008, 7:27 pm 
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Storm_Shinobi wrote:
But you get these really... introverted lot that don't really join in on college events, and just camp in their rooms playing DotA and generally sticking to their own and not trying new stuff.

That sounds a lot like the usual Chinese exchange student. During the last eight years I made friends with... two of them, plus three with whom I am on good terms. All female (but I'm not counting the few that I met in Japan).
I think the problem is that there's so many of them, there's almost 200 of them at our 15,000 students university (compared to 12 Japanese). Low numbers force such guests to mingle with the community, but if there are enough national contacts... they have their own parties and social networks, they stick to each other, feeling misunderstood by the rest of the world in case they're devout patriots. And in the end they get their degrees but they hardly speak German because all they did was read the literature needed for their seminars (and most of it is in English anyway), instead of communicating with "us".

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 28th, 2008, 1:41 am 
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42317 wrote:
All female (but I'm not counting the few that I met in Japan).

You're quite the ladies man, complete opposite of myself.

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 Post subject: Re: A Secret To Tell
PostPosted: August 28th, 2008, 8:22 am 
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Mmsven wrote:
You're quite the ladies man, complete opposite of myself.

It's not like I chose this. I'm not ignoring the guys because I feel better being surrounded by potential mates. Asian girls are virtually coming to me, assumingly because I'm a nice guy, maybe conversation with me is kinda pleasant? I dunno. I'm not aware of having an active hand in this.
But of course I admit being more willing to establish better and longer lasting contacts with better looking and smart specimen. :D

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