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PostPosted: July 5th, 2007, 9:59 am 
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The "Evil Overlord" list extended by "Evil Empress", "Sidekick", "Hero"... interesting.
I'll keep that site.

Here's a picture from Afghanistan.

Afghan Car

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PostPosted: July 13th, 2007, 1:03 pm 
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Today we discussed "false friends" in our seminar. By definition, this is "a word in a foreign language that is similar to one in your own, so that you wrongly think they both mean the same thing" (Longman online dictionary).

The presentation opened with a rather harmless and old, yet famous joke:

German guest: "When can I become my sausages?"
Waiter: "Never, I presume, sir."

Humor, in this case, comes from the German word "bekommen" which means "to get", but since it looks so similar many learners get it wrong and create a great many fun moments among native speakers. But it reminded me of another joke I heard in school so many years ago, based on the fact that the German term "blutig" corresponds with the English word "bloody" in some kinda way (like in "bloody nose"), but when it comes to meat, "blutig" means "medium rare":

German guest: "I'd like a bloody steak, please."
Waiter: "You want some fucking fries, too, sir?"

It amuses me every time I remember it. :D

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PostPosted: August 31st, 2007, 5:53 am 
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"Why did the orange stop?"

"Because it ran out of juice."



Lame?
Well, post something better! :D

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PostPosted: November 24th, 2007, 5:37 pm 
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I have a fondness for historical jokes. Not really old ones, although there are interesting jokes from old Rome or Greece, too, but I mean jokes for the understanding of which one needs a certain knowledge of history and the relation of certain people, developments, and facts.
Like:

Khrushchev has returned from New York and complains to Mikoyan:
"Kennedy says he has a doctor who can revive the dead! I got a little agitated and said we had an athlete who could run a hundred miles per hour... Kennedy will visit me in two weeks! Where could I possibly get such an athlete?"
"Don't worry. Tell Kennedy to bring his doctor to the Kremlin Wall and open the second grave from the left. If Stalin stays dead, all is good. If he comes back to life, you're gonna be the man who runs a hundred miles per hour."


Any questions? 8)
It had me rolling on the floor...

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PostPosted: November 24th, 2007, 7:20 pm 
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It brought a smile to my face, but not rolling on the floor. Then again, I'm notoriously hard to make me break out into all out laughter. :P

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PostPosted: November 30th, 2007, 2:45 pm 
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Here's something without historic implications, it just plays with clichées:

God created the first Swiss and asked him:
"What do you wish for?"
"I need mountains!"
And God gave him mountains.
"What else do you want?"
"I need cows!"
And God gave him cows.
The Swiss milked the cows, tried the milk and said:
"This is the best milk on Earth!" and offered God a glass, and God drank the milk.
"This is very good milk indeed... what else do you want?"
"2 Francs, please."

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PostPosted: December 9th, 2007, 8:04 pm 
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A mother finds an S&M magazine in her son's drawer and discusses the matter with her husband.
"If it was the Playboy, okay, but this is really dirty stuff. What should we do? "
"Hm, I think it would be unwise to spank him."




I am not monopolizing this thread on purpose, you know! :D

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PostPosted: January 16th, 2008, 6:49 pm 
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A joke for grunts.

Two soldiers are preparing for a mission.
"Damn, looks like this one's gonna be a tough one..."
"Why's that?"
"I overheard the cap'n say it was an honor participating in it."

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 Post subject: Re: The FUNNY Thread
PostPosted: June 24th, 2008, 7:14 pm 
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I've been cleaning up in our Anime Club's mailing list and found some interesting pieces, like this one (from April 2002). Not incredibly funny, but often worth a smile.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just leave me the hell alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

It’s always darkest before dawn.
So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.

Don’t be irreplaceable.
If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

No one is listening until you fart.

Always remember you’re unique.
Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Duct tape is like the Force - it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together

There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass... then things get worse.

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 Post subject: Re: The FUNNY Thread
PostPosted: June 25th, 2008, 8:33 pm 
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Tokyo Girls – A Review

Roppongi Girls
The most evil accursed women to ever walk the Earth. Turn your back for a sec and they’ve switched boyfriends. Why do they do this? Easy... they are evil people who live to start fights among all the Sailors and Gaijin.
How are they picked up? Walk into a club and just stand there. They will come to you. Gas Panic is a good start - 9/9? Of course! Another proven technique is to look „taken“ and they will suddenly wish to steal you from your current women. We believe constant exposure to the hated Roppongi „flyer-people“ has slowly molded them into the corrupt beings that they are.
Do not use the „Me... Jim, me... like... Tokyo, nice... Tokyo“ approach as they all speak fluent Englais.

Shibuya Girls
Also known as the „Look at my new Prada bag“ girls. Dyed hair, tiny voices, mini skirts and Namie-tans.
How do I get one? Stuff your pocket with a roll of newspaper and stick 10000 yen bills on the outsides flashing it left and right. Proven time and time again.
A new update: Tokoto has given us an important tip to our quest. Apparently claiming to work in „Omotte-Sando“ is a big plus!

Shinjuku Girls
Very similar in appearance to Shibuya girls. The best proven technique to date is to walk through Shinjuku with a dog (preferrably a puppy). For some reason all nasty girls will be scared away but the cuties will flock: „KAWAIIIIIII, NEE!!!!!“ Getting them to look at you instead of the dog is still under experimentation.
Warning! Do not insult the Spice Girls. Even though us guys know better, it is a very touchy area for most Shinjuku Girls.

Meguro Girls
Cute and simple looking girls that are coincidentally the fastest walkers in the world. Various techniques were attempted at approaching them but with no foreseeable results. Tried the
„I’m lost do you have a map in your bedroom“ and even the popular
„It’s a nice day today can I have your number?“, but nothing...
Research in this area continues. Perhaps making 1000 business cards saying
„You are the only one for me!“ might be effective but untested thus far.

Akihabara Girls
If you are looking for girls in Akihabara you have absolutely no clue.
Unless of course they’re inflatable.

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 Post subject: Re: The FUNNY Thread
PostPosted: July 10th, 2008, 9:06 pm 
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Location: Tokyo, you're due for another attack from Yours Truly!
There's a lot of drama that goes on at the forums that I go to. The flaming that goes on there and the topics can be outrageous at times. It's so ridiculous it hilarious as hell. Just click on the hyperlinks, read them and I guaren-damn-tee you that you'll laugh your ass off.

Here's an anime/manga tournament that has gone horribly wrong.

Here's a discussion on anal sex.

A discussion on the movie The Valley of Gwangi, when one of the mods was saying that Gwangi is near godlike and makes a fool of the other member who argued against him. Then another member got so annoyed by him and asks the mod to stop, but it turned into a flame war in the end.

These are just some of the crazy stuff that happens over there.

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Sailor Senshi and Gamera are a great mix together. :3


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 Post subject: Re: The FUNNY Thread
PostPosted: July 26th, 2008, 9:32 pm 
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Gojira wrote:

"The topic does not exist."

Gojira wrote:

That's funny? :(

Gojira wrote:

I can't find this kind of discussion entertaining, plus I lack insight into the topic.

For Bloodfairy - 42317-approved display of a Swastika:

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For the foreigners:
"It's got the beautiful Santa colors, a cute little Santa in the center, so why don't you like my new logo?"
"You've got a full beard."

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 Post subject: Re: The FUNNY Thread
PostPosted: July 27th, 2008, 12:29 am 
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Location: Tokyo, you're due for another attack from Yours Truly!
42317 wrote:

WHAT?!? :shock:
*Looks at topic and it does not exist*
Crap. :crap:

42317 wrote:
Gojira wrote:

That's funny? :(

I lmao reading it. It's hilarious to see everyone going crazy on this topic.

42317 wrote:

It helps to see the movie first. I thought it was funny cuz of how ridiculous it is to see people going fanatical for a movie character that appeared in ONLY ONE FILM. Plus I find it amusing when Monster Master and Kane Locke insult each other in the end. The internet shouldn't be taken too seriously, but oh well.

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 Post subject: Re: The FUNNY Thread
PostPosted: August 12th, 2008, 10:49 pm 
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Location: Tokyo, you're due for another attack from Yours Truly!
Here's a funny convo PrfsrSnapesAngel and I would like to share with everyone. The Great Yaoi/Yuri War.

PrfsrSnapesAngel (8:53:33 PM): *Snicker*
PrfsrSnapesAngel (8:53:36 PM): this is funny
PrfsrSnapesAngel (8:53:43 PM): http://staleh4nd.deviantart.com/art/Bir ... o-40146795
ZillaRex2000 (8:54:38 PM): Aaaahh! MY EYES! ARE BURNING!
PrfsrSnapesAngel (8:54:45 PM): mwuahaha
ZillaRex2000 (8:55:43 PM): all right! I'll fire with fire!
ZillaRex2000 (8:56:49 PM): One sec!
PrfsrSnapesAngel (8:56:58 PM): brint it on
PrfsrSnapesAngel (8:57:01 PM): bring^
ZillaRex2000 (8:57:09 PM): I'll brint it on!
ZillaRex2000 (8:59:15 PM): http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa20 ... mandao.jpg
ZillaRex2000 (8:59:21 PM): Take that!
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:00:27 PM): eh *Shrugs* thats the best u got lol they look good together
ZillaRex2000 (9:02:33 PM): They sure do
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:02:42 PM): ur still a perv lol
ZillaRex2000 (9:02:55 PM): Same with u too!
ZillaRex2000 (9:02:59 PM): lol
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:03:02 PM): lol
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:03:18 PM): but i didn't show u that sanzo picture out of pervyness
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:03:22 PM): i found it hilarious
ZillaRex2000 (9:03:44 PM): Same with Rei and Asuka
ZillaRex2000 (9:04:08 PM): but it's more symbolic than erotic
ZillaRex2000 (9:04:32 PM): it's supposed to be serious!
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:05:04 PM): lol uh huh suuuure
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:06:20 PM): lol this calls for war
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:06:21 PM): http://www.animegalleries.net/img/27743
ZillaRex2000 (9:07:39 PM): blech
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:07:47 PM): lol
ZillaRex2000 (9:07:58 PM): all right! my turn!
ZillaRex2000 (9:08:28 PM): one sec.
ZillaRex2000 (9:11:06 PM): http://gallery.devianthearts.com/albums/ shoujoai/bam.sized.jpg Booyah!
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:11:11 PM): http://www.animegalleries.net/img/175993
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:11:39 PM): lol not too bad
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:13:11 PM): lol i step down..u win or else i'll bring out the naruto yaoi
ZillaRex2000 (9:13:36 PM): Hold on! I'm not givin up yet!
ZillaRex2000 (9:13:59 PM): Give me a min. This site I'm one is a bit slow
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:14:05 PM): lol
ZillaRex2000 (9:15:46 PM): damn! It's taking forever!
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:16:40 PM): lol
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:16:43 PM): suuuure
ZillaRex2000 (9:17:11 PM): Here we go
ZillaRex2000 (9:17:30 PM): http://gallery.devianthearts.com/albums/ shoujoai/bau.jpg Bombs Away!
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:17:36 PM): http://www.animegalleries.net/img/253641
ZillaRex2000 (9:19:22 PM): http://gallery.devianthearts.com/albums/ ecchi/acz.sized.jpg
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:19:39 PM): ok i'm done lo
PrfsrSnapesAngel (9:19:40 PM): lol
ZillaRex2000 (9:20:23 PM): ha ha! stand down!
ZillaRex2000 (9:20:35 PM): *roars in triumph*

Edit: Because they don't allow hotlinking for some of these I have split some URL's into two pieces. Copy and paste the two pieces together to see the pic. ACM

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 Post subject: Re: The FUNNY Thread
PostPosted: August 13th, 2008, 4:23 am 
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hate to break it to you, gojira, but prefersnapesangel wins...
no contest!
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eww.

by the way what the hell kind of name is PrfsrSnapesAngel?
prefer snapes angel?
professor snapes angel?
professor solution apes angel?
seriously!!

edit:
professor Snap! is Angel!
clearly i have not watched enough anime to understand this one...


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