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Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
Reviewer: Aaron Murphy 05/26/2008

Synopsis:
Years ago a nuclear war decimated humanity and the radiation from the fallout mutated humans into monsters known as Yoju. These tentacle beasts are able to procreate with human females, impregnating them with their seed to create offspring, or they can create new spawns by infecting men and slowing turning them into Yoju. To counter this threat, and to try and protect the remnants of society, fortress cities were created and that is where the A.S.S.P. comes in. They are a specially created Anti Strangebeast Special Police task force, whose small numbers are filled with bio-engineered women whom are charged with fighting the Yoju threat and protecting the population of Sofiapolis, the main fortress city. But the Yoju are getting smarter, and the future is uncertain for everyone if they gain the intelligence of humans.             

Review:
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048 transports you back to a world of SNES games such as Tactics Ogre and early Play Station 1 games like Final Fantasy Tactics and Arc the Lad. With its turn-based strategy combat and 2-D graphics, it’s like a blast from the past. But other than bringing back nostalgic feelings for games long since conquered, it’s only other success is in making you wish you were playing those games instead.
 
Following a lengthy description about the current situation of the world, the various fortress cities, and the current economic situation/power struggles within Sofiapolis, you get thrown right into the action. The A.S.S.P. has 8 members, all of which have brief biographies which give you the basic rundown on the types of bio-girls that will be under your control. Each character has a different personality, from aggressive to passive, from gung-ho to ditsy, and everything in-between. It’s basically a huge commingling of cookie-cutter personality types that doesn’t even attempt to develop them into anything else. The story suffers from the same problem. Once they establish the world and the current situation, development be damned, we have fighting to do! And fight we shall.
 
You will spend almost all the entire game fighting against the Yoju through nine different levels. Nine levels of horrendously frustrating and repetitive combat that will make you curse the game and yourself for playing it. The strategy combat system is one in which you move around on a grid and all the characters have different distances they can move, different ranges they can fire, different accuracy rates and attack strength, etc. All the things you would inherently expect, however, that’s about where it ends. Every character only has one weapon to attack with, and no other moves, no other abilities, no nothing. So you will spend all your time moving around the same characters, with the same stats, as they use the same attack over and over again. How positively exciting! But wait, it gets better!   
 
As a turn based system, each group goes through all their units’ commands and movements before the other side gets to do anything. So after you chose what you want to do with your team of 6, you get to sit there as the enemy force of 20 or more moves about. You can’t just do something else while they move about either, because if they attack you have to click a dialogue box that will say either someone was hit or, more likely, the enemy missed. But this isn’t even the worst part of it. The worst part is that your characters will take forever to kill anything, due to their inability to actually hit their target. Every character has a different accuracy, and depending on where you are and who you are fighting the enemies will have different hit percentages, and vice versa. So while the enemies actually rarely hit you, you only hit them a bit more often. This means that you could go entire rounds with not even killing one of the dozens of enemies you are facing, and even though they hit you even less often, they still have vastly greater numbers on their side. The result is incredibly long battles that can take over an hour, and also has the unfortunate side effect of making this game very difficult to get through. Which means you will run into the unfortunate circumstance of having to replay matches over again, further increasing your ire and indignation towards the game. To give you a general idea of what I am talking about, during the second level I had one enemy left alive and all 6 of my characters still kicking. Through 3 rounds and 18 attacks, they missed every single time. At which point I could be heard yelling at the screen “Would one of you fucking hit something!” That’s just the type of game Pretty Soldier Wars is.
 
Intermingled with the fights are a number of hentai scenes, featuring different women being ravaged by tentacle monsters and asking for someone to help them and for the monsters to stop. It’s setup so that when you attack a monster that has a woman, you are shown 2 CG scenes with the woman, as well as a couple lines of moaning dialogue. The CG scenes are nice and all, but there is really nothing to them. It’s the same thing over and over, just with a different girl using the same sounds/dialogue. Even less can be said for the hentai scenes with the members of the A.S.S.P. As their male commander, and the only male around, you end up going on dates with them all. Don’t let this fool you though; this “date” is just a CG scene of the two of you somewhere and her talking about how she would love to know what it would be like to be a real woman. After which you get a hentai CG scene of her naked in some position and her talking about how great it is and how she’s cumming. It’s all rather pointless though. With no character development present, you could be interacting with a complete stranger and it would have the same emotional impact.
 
I can’t really say I have a problem with the music, though there isn’t much of a variety. A handful of songs comprise the full gauntlet here, but they aren’t bad, just somewhat repetitive after a while. The Japanese voice acting, when they have it, is perfectly fine as well. And I rather enjoyed the 2-D graphics, more-so for nostalgic reasons than for anything else, because honestly it is a rather dated look nowadays.
 
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048 looked promising at the start, with an intricate setup and old-school turn-based strategy fighting, but it ended up failing at every level. There is no character development nor story development, the fighting makes you want to put your head through a wall, and there are no meaningful or intriguing hentai scenes to speak of. So if you have a hankering for some old-school turn-based strategy fun either play one of the previously mentioned games or play Brave Soul if you are looking for a good fighting bishoujo game. Just don’t waste your time on this one.     

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Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
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Review Title:
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
Alternative Titles:
Youjuu Senki A.D. 2048
Released:
2006
Approximate Length:
10-20 Hours
Suitable For:
Adults Only
General Rating:
2 out of 5 stars
Hentai Rating:
2 out of 5 stars
Genres:
Action, Mecha, Military,
Rape, Tentacles
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