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Jewel Knights: Crusaders
Reviewer: Rowena Lim Lei 09/22/2004

You are Ginji, an exceptionally strong young man who loves fighting. You're constantly scouring the streets for a good brawl, and it is during one such stroll that you encounter the Jewel Knights -- three girls with magical powers who are battling an evil organization known as Ragnarokkr. In a strange turn of events you are recruited as a helper to the Jewel Knights, with the alias of Jewel Silver. However, it is only with the condition that you may do whatever you want with the three girls that you agree to help them. Thus starts your new life as a superhero...

Jewel Knights Crusaders can best be described as an interactive magical girl anime infused with hentai elements. The episodic presentation complete with previews of what's to come is similar to that of Heart de Roommate's, albeit thank goodness Jewel Knights Crusaders is much shorter and a lot less dragging.

Jewel Knights Crusaders' plot consists of your usual generic good versus evil scenario. A sinister organization called Ragnarokkr wants to take over the world, and the super heroines known as the Jewel Knights are all that stands in their way. There are three Jewel Knights in all: Meno, a.k.a Onyx, the angelic group leader; Ruri, a.k.a. Lapis Lazuli, the most fierce and feisty warrior; and Hisui, a.k.a. Jade, the resident lolicon. Your character Ginji becomes Silver, the unofficial fourth member of the group. Then comes the hentai part. First of all, Meno, Ruri, and Hisui transform into Jewel Knights by flashing their magical thongs. They are also able to power up when they have sex with Ginji. Ginji in turn keeps his word by fighting alongside the girls whilst screwing and molesting them whenever he pleases. Not only that, Ginji also repeatedly rapes Ashura, the commanding officer of the Ragnarokkr forces that the Jewel Knights are always facing off with.

Although I found Jewel Knights Crusaders to be rather amusing and evenly paced, it was hard to like it too much. The hero Ginji is portrayed as an awfully oversexed and violent guy. If he's not out picking a fight, he's busy de-virginizing (bloodily, I might add) just about every available female character regardless of who you choose to focus on. From what I've seen of his silhouettes and profiles, and judging from how he is described in the game, he's not much of a looker either. Nevermind that the girls gradually grow to enjoy his perverse ways. As it turns out however, Ginji's lack of likeability is just icing on the cake. What's really sick is the inclusion of Hisui, who looks, acts, and sounds like a fourth grader. Watching Hisui's sex scenes was like watching child pornography (see second screenshot below). No disclaimer that "All characters depicted are aged 18 years and older... etc." can cover up the glaringly obvious fact that Hisui can't be any more than 12 years old -- and when I say 12 I'm being quite generous already. Hisui is a baby compared to all the other bishoujo game lolicons I've encountered thus far. If that's not disturbing enough, wait till you get a load of her ending. I was literally going like, WTF?

In terms of challenge, Jewel Knights Crusaders poses almost none at all. There are four girls you can end up with: Meno, Ruri, Hisui, and Ashura. Finishing each one's scenario is extremely easy. Just pick the same girl whenever prompted at the character selection screen, and make sure you opt for decisions which will get you closer to her. It's actually trickier collecting the "other" CGs compared to unlocking all four girls' complete storylines and CGs, but it's nothing a little saving and re-choosing won't solve.

The artwork is somewhat above average, but nothing to get excited about. The female characters look cute enough, plus they come in all shapes and sizes. Either Ashura or Meno would be the large and extra large in terms of boobies, Ruri would be medium, and of course there are Hisui's non-existent breasts that don't even qualify for a bra size. Ginji's penis is huge to a fault, making the sex scenes (graphic as they may be) come off as incredulous and overly cartoonish instead of erotic. As is usually the case, original Japanese voices have been retained and all of them were well-suited for the characters.

Jewel Knights Crusaders is not a bad game, but it's not a great game either. Was this supposed to be a parody? Well, I for one didn't find it all that funny. At least it's a change of scene from your standard dating simulation.

Game extras include a CG gallery and a music gallery.

Jewel Knights: Crusaders
Jewel Knights: Crusaders
Jewel Knights: Crusaders
Jewel Knights: Crusaders
Jewel Knights: Crusaders
Jewel Knights: Crusaders
Jewel Knights: Crusaders
Jewel Knights: Crusaders
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Review Title:
Jewel Knights: Crusaders
Approximate Length:
10-30 Hours
Suitable For:
Adults Only
General Rating:
3 out of 5 stars
Hentai Rating:
3 out of 5 stars
Comedy, Parody, Lolita,
Menage a Trois, Rape
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